Yesterday I found comfort in Ps 131, and Ro 12, 13, 14. I am meditating on those today again, and also Ro 15 & 16. I feel this is where God wants my attention right now in his Word. I am feeling more at peace today, although I shed some tears throughout the day… at the orphanage this morning, and a few times in the taxi…it just felt strange to be in those places without Dom and the kids. This was not the plan for me to be here alone, but because of the timing of everything, Dom felt it best to handle things this way. Maria came in to the room today and she stopped and hesitated when she did not see everyone else waiting for her as usual…she had an upset and confused look on her face, then she spotted the “toy” bag we bring each day and she ran over and started unpacking as usual. We made her a photo book which she keeps with her in her groupa. Each time I pick her up she reaches her hand up motioning for the book. She carries it with her and we go through it. Today I showed her the family page and she immediately started kissing all the faces on the page and hugging the book…it was very sweet. I tried to explain the they are “home” and showed her the picture of our home. I am spending our time together (1 hour 2x/day) bonding and building trust and love. I am doing some cueing, but she does not seem too interested, sort of on and off. The first word I really started working with her on was “paper” because she picked up a piece of paper… so I cue “paper” over and over. Today when I did it she said “paaaa….puh” sort of…. I know she’s looking at my lips, and I’m putting her hand on my face so she can feel the vibrations of the words; also I’m putting her hand in front of my mouth so she can feel the air coming out with the different sounds. She gave me lots of hugs and kisses today. We also played “pee-ka-boo” today which I cued over and over. She is curious about the cueing and watches, but then decides she’d like to move on to something else. I don’t want to force it, so we are just spending time together, just being together.Today the sun came out…I was sorry Dom and the kids were not here to see it. I took one photo from our bedroom window, another of the sun streaming in to our apartment, and other down the street. It is only the second time in three weeks it has appeared here… I looked out the window and said “thank you, God, for this hope and promise”… I knew it was from Him and I got up, put my coat on and went outside for a walk around town enjoying the people and the sun and God! I went in to a few shops as I need to purchase a stroller for Maria so I can move around the airports easily. I went in to one store and the sales person approached me and said something to me; I quickly got out my Ukrainian book and told her in Ukrainian “I’m just looking,” and she made a funny face at me and walked away. I told Rustik this and I repeated to him what I told the sales person, and he completely understood me, so I knew then that she did too. However, Rustik told me that here, when you walk in to a store the sellers take it as an insult to tell them you are just looking… when you are in their store they expect you to purchase their product and no one else’s, and not waste their time by just looking… so that’s why she made a face at me. Each seller is so desperate to make a sale to support themselves and their families.
I’m excited to see if the sun will shine again tomorrow!
I am lifting you and your family up now. When Mike was left behind, he said it was the loneliest time in his life. But.. being back home and looking in retrospect, he knows what a privalege it was to bond with our little girl and go through this with her. We too looked at it from a "job" standpoint. Mine was to come back and prepare Noah for his new sister and Mike's was to get her out safely and create memories together that he could tell her about later. Hang in there. You are on the homestretch. Oh and tell Serge and Nicholai HI for us (if they remember us). They do wonderful making you feel like you are the only family they are helping.
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